If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
