On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
