then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I need a burrito and a hug.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
