It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
