Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
