thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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