My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i came on her dog
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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