Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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