Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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