East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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