I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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