I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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