Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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