You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
