She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
