I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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