i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
