Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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