Me too!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
