Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
