Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
