I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
