Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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