Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
