I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
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