Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
This toilet bowl is my home.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
