two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
