he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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