The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
