my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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