apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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