That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
