I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
