i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
