Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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