And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
