I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
