God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
