I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
