he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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