i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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