very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
