Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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