I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
BRING THE BAGELS
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
