shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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