also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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