yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
