I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
