Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
