this beer tastes like vomit already
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
